computers and brains

Sheesh, My brain is in overdrive these days. I'm exhausted with all my though processes. Why can't I be a computer and shut down at a moments notice with on ly the essentials to keep my body alive? The good thing is that I've come to some conclusions though.

I did discover that I'm in love with my boyfriend. I think I was too busy with my head up my ass and expecting heart skips, and constant fireworks. Then I realised, what's wrong with being perfectly happy and comfortable. I was so used to being in this wacky honeymoon phase that I almost missed it. It's crazy how it took that dude getting married and havign a kid to make me realise that hey, instead of thinking but he wasn't the one for me...waaah...

It simply means that I belong with someone else! I was driving myself nuts because I wanted to be well on my way to marriage and kids at this phase even though I know that I'm not prepared for that yet.

Today, I printed out some things that I always loved as verses and now they now stick on my desk. Psalm 8 and Aedh Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven (William Butler Yeats). such beautiful verses. I do feel like that these days though. "Oh Lord, Our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth". God is just so interesting and amazing and wise, "Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and he will strengthen thine heart". The cloths of heaven by Yeats is awesome, here is someone who puts everything he has (which is just his dreams) knowing full well that there is a risk that the person wil trample all over his dream. It's kinda like, I can't give you want you want, but can give you what I have. it's just a matter of don't trample all over them if you don't want them just give it back. "Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams"